Her mistake
by Vuld Edone
Summary: Twilight is having a simple nightmare. Darkness comes and covers Ponyville. It repeats but with the proper method and care it will just stay that, a dream which once understood is bound to fade away.


**When reading Oldnew Luna, I wanted to have my take on the nightmare thing. After less than an hour of conception and planning, the choice of letters nailed it for me. From there it took three to four hours to write it all. To be fair, I wouldn't mind having made it scary, but the occasion to actually tell something was too great.**

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

As expected the nightmare happened again, but I think it was weaker. This time it was Luna who, at the town hall, was gathering ponies to fight the darkness. I remember looking at Canterlot and it was still there. I don't remember if I saw the mountains but I think they were still there too. Anyway, Luna was still speaking, explaining what every pony should do. I don't want to get into details, it is a bit childish, but it worked.

I didn't really lie when I said that in my dream, we succeeded to stop the darkness every time. The exception is when we are taken by surprise, and it has become rare. The darkness was stopped. I don't know if Canterlot was still visible by then, I am sorry. I do not remember if I looked at it at that moment but I think it was still there because I was happy and hopeful.

But like I told you, it would keep getting darker. It is hard to explain because the darkness was stopped, but it kept getting darker. When I finally noticed it, it was too late. Canterlot had disappeared and everypony was slowly turning on me. Nervous. Aggressive. I turned to Luna and with Fluttershy still by my side we went to the library. We closed the door. Luna cast a spell and we waited. Everything was darker and darker. I heard a knock at the door, insisting. I knew it was Spike but I would not open. We were terrorized. And then, I woke up.

The only thing my books have confirmed is that it is not a normal nightmare. I will prepare an experiment to remove as much magic as I can to see if it is a spell. If you think this is a warning, tell me what I need to look for.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

Thank you kindly for your words of comfort. I have called the doctor again and he promised me that he would keep trying to find a medical solution to my nightmare. I have not tried a magicless dream yet, due to circumstances.

As for the nightmare itself, I can only report two things. The first is, Luna has not come back in it. I should actually be surprised that she had appeared in the first place. Maybe there is a hint here about all of this. The second is, I kept looking for Canterlot. It begins to disappear soon before Rainbow Dash turned on me. Spike, strike that. Between the moment we stopped the darkness and the moment I realized that it got darker.

Somehow I wished it would always be the same nightmare, with everypony acting exactly the same each time. It would make things far easier to study.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Doctor,

Your letter was really surprising. I would like to meet you to discuss further about this specialist. I am pretty sure I still have all of my senses but, if you think this can help deciphering the nightmare, I will try this new treatment.

I would just like to discuss it first.

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

I am sorry to disturb you for this nightmare again, but I wanted to make sure one last time that it was just a normal dream.

I have tried despite your advice to eliminate as much magic as I could, by turning my horn asleep. It was reckless but I needed to know, and Spike was there to look for me. As for the nightmare, it was only affected in one way. I was weak, too weak to help against the incoming darkness. I remember Pinkie Pie repeating me to smile, because if I didn't, the darkness would cover everything. She sincerely thought I was the cause and at one point, I believed her. But I was too weak, and her voice was the only thing I heard before waking up.

My study of the nightmare has been systematic. I have tried to isolate as many details as I could. Something I never paid attention to was my awareness. I noticed, in the middle of the nightmare, that I was aware it was a dream. I somehow got to this conclusion when looking at Canterlot, because it seemed familiar. My hypothesis is, deep down, I am perfectly aware of the nightmare from the very beginning, but I willingly play my role. I don't know why.

There is no way to stop the darkness. In the dream, I mean. We have tried so many things that, at some point, I remember having told all of my friends that it was hopeless, way too early. Maybe defeating the darkness is the key to end it, but I do not know how, and the doctor can not help me.

Princess, what should I do?

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Dear Princess,

Your advice, or should I say your support, helped tremendously. You told me you would be there with me, and it happened. You were there in the nightmare and you defeated it.

It happened after our plan succeeded, once again, to stop the darkness. I got aware that it was getting darker and, like a jolt, I realized what it meant. That my friends would turn on me. That it was too late to try anything. I think I realized it was my nightmare and that is when your words came back to me. You appeared by my side, your horn glowing and immediately, all became brightful again. My friends came back, themselves again, and we reunited. You spent the rest of the dream standing, shining on us as I slowly woke up.

Of course, the nightmare will repeat itself tonight. But I know that when it will, you will be in it. I don't fear it anymore and from now on I will not care. The doctor will take care of the rest. I can not express how grateful I am, even if you probably didn't expect this result, to have kept trusting me, listening to me and supporting me all along.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Doctor,

I don't think I have to justify why I stopped this treatment. But if you insist, his very premise is that the nightmare is happening because of me, because of something that is bothering me, something deep. A fear or a resant, something that I do not express.

This is not the case. I now probably know more about the pony mind than he does, and he is only applying a broad theory onto my case, with little care for details. When I confront him with how recurring dreams actually work, he dismisses my remarks completely.

I live a happy life, I have other preoccupations and I can not let him mess with my nightmare. Please consider if there is no other alternative.

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that friendship comes with concession, that a true friend will affect you as much as you will affect her. Each pony has her own unique personality and it can make you act in a very stubborn way. But if you refuse to change your ways, eventually it will hurt your friends more than yourself. A good friend will listen and know when to stop.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

I think Twilight needs your help. First, there is this whole Zecora's potions mess that she tried and I don't know what she will attempt next. But that's not the worst. She is now scared to go to sleep! I actually have to scold her every night, and I caught her cheating once already! Ponies need sleep, right? I already warned the others but now Twilight is mad at me! I don't know what to do, this doesn't look good at all...

Your truly,  
Spike

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

I must first apologize to Spike, and to all of my friends. You are right, the nightmare is still affecting me, more than I want to admit.

What I wanted to deny so hard is - I can't explain! You still appear when I become aware of the nightmare. You walk past me and your horn begins to shine, and all darkness disappears. But then, it comes back, slowly, from the distance, and despite all of your strength you are powerless to stop it.

All this time I wanted to deny that your magic was faltering. That, in the nightmare, the darkness wouldn't be erased completely, that it would come back slowly. That I could see you getting exhausted more and more. And I heard you say, in my dream, that she wasn't you. That she was only me. The last barrier I had created to stop the darkness. I yelled that she was you, even though I knew the contrary, I yelled that she was you and my friends, too, were encouraging her. But then, then she apologized, and I couldn't add anything because I was waking up.

I know she will eventually be overwhelmed. I know she is weaker and weaker every night, and I'm powerless to prevent it. The nightmare will return to its previous state, the cycle will repeat. But what I fear the most is this Celestia turning to me, and this apologize, her painful expression as the glow on her horn is trembling.

You have also probably learned that I stopped my treatment. The conclusion at the time was that I feared to lose my friends. I know it is not that, I just know it. My most plausible explanation is that it is a memory of past events, from Nightmare Moon to Discord, because of the similarities. But then, why don't they appear in it? Why do I feel alone in it?

I promise to go to sleep and to follow that treatment again. Maybe I should resume my research on the nightmare too, but I have been told not to. I am completely lost.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Princess,

Please tell me that you are okay. That nothing happened to you. I will await your answer and if there is none come morning, I will head to Canterlot. Please be safe.

Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have tried something I would never have thought to do. I ran straight for the darkness. I thought it would end the dream abruptly, but it didn't. Instead, I erred in the darkness. The more I went, the more I wanted to see somepony. I wished to return to Ponyville so I ran as fast as I could. The darkness was already at the first houses. I escaped it to find the town in the dark, this different dark getting darker.

Applejack was there, and Rarity, and I think it was Rainbow Dash. I don't know anymore. They were doing, I am not sure, I think they were still trying to prevent the darkness. I approached them and Applejack saw me coming. She called my name, then she stopped smiling.

I am trembling just thinking about going to sleep tonight. I don't want to see you fall, I don't want to see my friends hurt.

Luna has come back, twice, in my dream. Once, she didn't even know what the darkness was, but the second time she was actually looking for me. She went directly at me and she told me, I was the cause, and I needed to wake up. I was terrified. I couldn't react and she did the worst thing she could: she promised me she would protect me, whatever would happen.

I don't need a doctor. I need a scientist. Somepony able to do my work, to isolate each variable of this dream to begin deconstructing it. I beg of you, please find that pony.

Your student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Doctor,

I have thought about your proposal. Spike made me realize I was cheating with myself. Even when I was persuaded to have taken my sleep pill, I would actually throw it away or hide it. This cannot continue. I will head to the hospital tomorrow afternoon, once my current affairs are completed.

Make that two days.

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

Your visit touched me farther than any word could transcribe. Even if I am ashamed to share this burden with you, I can not hide how happy I feel, being able to describe my dream to somepony else than the doctor.

It began with a dream like any, about a shower of sweets in the sky and Pinkie was bouncing around me like a ball, and we played with her on a beach. I fell on the sand, muzzle first, then Dash asked if we had seen "that". I suddenly knew she meant the darkness. I got up in the middle of Ponyville, with all of my friends, watching the distant darkness as it was getting darker. I knew I was aware of it, of it all, I already knew it was a nightmare and what would happen.

And somehow, I felt, the others knew it too.

Suddenly, Applejack broke our silence. She told us she wanted to return to Sweet Apple Acres, and that we were welcome to follow her. Her words... I could guess the tears on her eyes. I wanted to refuse when Dash, too, excused herself. She would return to Cloudsdale. I was looking at them, speechless. I couldn't, I just couldn't argue. I just couldn't.

I wandered alone in the streets, I knew Spike would wait for me at the library. The darkness was nearer. I knew that it was already too late to try to stop it. Panic was spreading from house to house, ponies trotting, looking for a solution. I wondered if Luna would be there, this time. My legs were so heavy, it was painful to walk. I didn't want to go to the library. I wanted to flee. I wanted to flee before the dark would make you appear.

Ponies were dark around me. I knew my friends were too, like shadows. I thought that the nightmare could have stopped, that Canterlot had long since disappeared. That, maybe, it wouldn't stop this time. That I wouldn't wake up. That's when you appeared, a beautiful light chasing every shadow. You walked past me, with a word of comfort, but you were already weak. Your light would only be a mere torch in the darkness. I followed you, I walked beside you even if you had stopped. And I knew you would fall.

I ran towards you, I grasped on your neck as the glow of your horn would turn into a glimmer and the faltering light would give way to black. It was dark, all that was left was like live coal, the last sparkles of your horn. Your face was full of tears, mine too. You whispered something, you

* * *

Doctor,

You wanted a formal complaint, here it is. I, Twilight Sparkle, accuse you of having abused of my trust, and sent an unfinished letter without my permission, after having read it, against my will.

I will also take my leave.

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have finally found why the darkness was unstoppable. It is because this darkness is the night. The dream follows a day cycle pretty closely, beginning near the afternoon to around midnight.

I still don't know what it all means and how to end it but to know that it was just the night falling in my dream made it infinitely more sustainable, I think. Now, when I see distress on my friends, in that dream, I simply tell them that it is the night and we all calm down. So for now I am okay, and I hope my assistant would trust me on that as much as you do.

There is still a few experiments I must do before this nightmare finally ends.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have finally found the missing variable of my dream. It is Canterlot. The only element that never varied was the moment it would disappear. I finally understood it the moment Luna turned on me. I don't know why, I looked at Canterlot and saw it was disappearing at the very same time.

There is another experiment I have done, which took some time to confirm. I have tracked every time I specifically talked about the dream with one of my friends, which friend it was on what day. Then I compared it with my memories of the nightmare, which of my friends were present, how on what night. It is related. Depending on who I talked to or spent the most time with, she would be more present and more active.

Luna was the one leading me to this conclusion. She appeared the very night after you offered me your support. She was you, the form your support took in my dream.

I have to reach Canterlot. I have already calculated that it is impossible to do before nightfall, so I will have to reach it in the middle of darkness. But I think it is possible. You will be there to help me, you, and maybe Luna, and my friends. We'll reach Canterlot. The answer is there, everything, everything that made that nightmare.

This is something I shouldn't tell, but the nightmare takes longer and longer to stop. I see more and more of what happens when all is covered by darkness. By my calculations, I have two weeks or less. My next letter will tell you how I succeeded.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Doctor,

I must apologize for the way I treated you all along. Not just this last incident but from the very beginning, when I questioned your method, your medicine and your colleague. I have been impossible to live, impatient, aggressive and a bit stiff too. My conduct cannot be forgiven by my illness alone, and I feel ashamed because of it.

If things were turning for the worst, if they were to turn for the worst, I hope you will be the one taking care of me.

* * *

To Moondancer,

This Pegasus is Rainbow Dash and she is the coolest friend a friend can have. We are having a party in the park so why not follow her?

Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

I still can't believe what you have done for me, and how mad Luna is at you for doing it. I know it has only be done three times in pony history, and how much it counts. But you really saved me that day.

You could probably ask me for the details, and I would be happy to tell them the next time we meet. For now, I spent my first normal night since long, and I have many things to catch on. Many, many things.

I have also learned that the only proper way to study friendship was through empirical experiment. You have to live it, day to day, and never try to look further than that.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

Dear Princess Luna,

I did what you asked, I spent the whole night awake to see if Twilight would have a nightmare. It was hard, by the way. And yeah, she did begin to squeak and have spasms. But it didn't really last, probably less than a minute.

She is still a bit tired sometimes but really, I'm not worried. This is like a recovery, right? There is no more medicine and no more strange behavior.

You really worry too much. Even Celestia seems happy with how it turned out, and Twilight doesn't even care about nightmares anymore. What will you ask me next, to go into her mind? I can tell you it's filled with magic, schedules and girly activities. Besides, I think she would be mad if I did that, so please don't ask me to do it.

As for the other thing, yeah, she did break her quill. Not too sure how you knew about that but anyway, I changed it, and those things happen I guess. It's just a broken pen. I mean, it's actually more surprising that she didn't just take another one to finish her writing, instead of leaving the whole thing behind. What she was writing made no sense anyway. You know how those scientific texts are.

Just let it rest, I can promise you that Twilight is fine.

Your truly,  
Spike


End file.
